


we're lost somewhere in outer space

by standing_cowardly



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M, Pre-Split, Ryden, Rydon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 08:07:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8883352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/standing_cowardly/pseuds/standing_cowardly
Summary: They moved to a dance that was only theirs; one that would be forgotten come daytime. One that was never to be learned by anyone else.





	

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i originally posted this story to my wattpad, endless-lilac-skies, but decided to also post it here. in case you recognize it, there's your answer: this isn't plagiarism.
> 
> title from the song "coming down" by halsey

Ryan looked out into the distance, staring at the colors of the horizon. His thoughts were endless spirals, ranging from the tour to his family. After three months of touring, he was ready to be done. They had another three months to go, and he barely had any idea what country they were in. It might be Belgium, though it also might have been the Netherlands. All he knew for certain was that it was some small town in a European country where the main language wasn't English. Their hotel was located on a beach, where he was currently watching the sunset. He had no idea where the rest of his bandmates were, though he was content being alone on the rooftop to watch the sun disappear behind the gentle waves cascading along the horizon.

He scuffed his foot against the black concrete of the roof, leaning against the railing as the sky showed with pinks, oranges, blues, and mixtures of the three colors. Nights like these were great. Nights where they had no concert, which left them free to do anything. As long as he was prepared to leave in the morning to make it to soundcheck for the next concert, the crew could care less how they spend their days off.

Suddenly, he heard the door open behind him. Expecting it to be a stranger, he continued staring out over the water. The person came and leaned on the railing next to him, so he glanced over to catch sight of his bandmate: Brendon.

"Hey, Ry." Brendon says quietly, his voice trailing into the sounds of the seagulls. Rather than responding, Ryan simply hums as he watches people walk down the shore, run in the sand. He himself had never been a fan of being on the beach, but he did enjoy watching the beautiful sight of the water.

"What are you doing?" Brendon's voice is soft, but when Ryan turns to look at him, his eyes are shining with curiosity.

"Observing." Ryan returns to looking at the sky, the ocean, anything in the landscape that his eyes can take in. He's having an internal battle over whether Brendon or the beach is more gorgeous.

"Do the places ever blend together for you? They do for me. We're just traveling so much that I forget which specific country we're in. I mean, I always end up figuring it out. But that's usually by someone else telling me or seeing a specific flag in the crowd. Days like today are when I forget most. We have no reason to focus on where we are for once; we're free. It's a day to please ourselves rather than others. We can do whatever we want, and act as if there's no set limit for when we have to stop. Even though there actually is. It's called Zack at 7 A.M. tomorrow telling us that we need to get out of bed or he's leaving our asses behind."

They hadn't simply talked in forever, and Ryan wasn't sure he remembered how he was meant to respond. He could only shrug his shoulders and avert his eyes from Brendon's calculating gaze. He felt, more than heard, Brendon sighing next to him. Then he felt Brendon's shoulder pressed firmly against his, and it was all happening again.

A repetition of what only ever turned out wrong. He would get lost in _brendonbrendonbrendon_ and not think about the consequences. Then, it would progress from simple touches to heated looks. All in the lost hours of the night that only they would remember; all for only eachother. Heated looks that progressed to that perfect, compassionate moment, but only ended in crazy, monstrous fucking.

Only, this time, they weren't looking at eachother. They were both taking in their surroundings. And these weren't moments that could simply be swept away like small specs of dirt. Moments that could be treated as simply a dream. This moment was undeniable and sacred, because anyone could witness it. Someone from below could look up and see the outline of two bodies pressed firmly together on the rooftop, surrounded by the stunning pinks and blues and all blending colors of the sunset as the day melted into the nighttime.

With the fall of the sun would also come the fall of their barriers with eachother. Thoughts of individuality and continuing the facade of hatred would slowly dissipate into nothingness, and both could merely let it happen.

And as the sun slowly crept down the horizon, Brendon's hand slowly crept closer to his. Then, as it disappeared behind the sea, Brendon's hand clutched his tightly, and they simply stood as the sky darkened more and more. Then, under the sea of stars, it became only them.

They were kissing, and clutching onto eachother, and longing, and hoping for something that both of them knew could never last. Ryan knew it could never be what he wanted.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, this would be gone. This would be gone and forgotten and if only Ryan had made a move before the sun had gone away. Maybe then Brendon would understand. Understand that he didn't want just this. He wanted more. He didn't want the insanity of touching with limitations because they knew it would have to end in mere hours. He wanted to wake up in the morning with Brendon, and being able to only indulge in Brendon, and more _brendonbrendonbrendon_.

It wasn't a surprise when they laid down on the surface of the roof together and clutched onto one another tightly. Holding onto what they knew couldn't last; holding on to what they knew would only exist to them.

"Stay?" It was a simple uttered word of near begging as Ryan slowly began to drift off in Brendon's arms, and he didn't earn a response. Brendon simply held him tighter.

The next morning, Ryan was awoken to the sunrise. Brendon was nowhere in sight.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed. i wrote this a while back, so it definitely doesn't meet my standards for being considered "good" anymore.


End file.
